Thursday, June 12, 2014

Whatever doesn't kill you?



If you've ever read my 'bio' in the sidebar you will see that I make the extraordinary claim that I am both shy AND outgoing. And so it is with blogging! I am bold to share and respond to the lovely comments made and, yet, then, after a few hours have passed, I feel overwhelmed and go and hide - feeling shy and tongue-tied and, yet, still so very sincerely grateful for the comments made.

and so it is that I have no idea how to express to you how I felt by your overwhelming response and extremely kind words to my post about my discovery of being gluten sensitive. It was more than just the public comments - the private notes - it was so touching. I, actually, walked around with this warm sensation in my heart for a good two days! It was like having my heart held - or hugged - something like that. ;) Point being....

I was touched!! Thank you so very much!!!!

Well. Then. I thought that was that but the story continues... I switched Doctors. Mine just couldn't seem to expend any energy beyond occasionally prescribing a pill. And when I went to my new and wonderful doctor, she discovered that there was an odd complaint that was two years old that should be presented to a specialist immediately! ...and so has begun the long journey of tests - each result bringing back the good news that they haven't found any cancer - yet - the frustrating news that I'm at 'higher risk' and will need another test. I am, now, lined up with ten other mysterious and unknown women somewhere in the world who are in the same situation as mine and two of us will be 'chosen' to have cancer. How long and drawn out and, sometimes, torturous could this possibly be, I wonder? My brain has said that, most likely, everything will be okay - my body, after the last result - sort of shut down because of the stress. And so it is that I am just fine and completely not. (which makes me laugh..... and sigh!)

Ooooooh.... surgery for the final biopsy is next Thursday. (June 19th)

And for all of the people who wrote to me and told me how encouraged they were by my sharing about the gluten situation, I have got to say that, when I have been, endlessly, in and out of that MRI machine having all sorts of long needles poked into me and when I have taken a fleeting glimpse down the 'what if' road and felt the sadness and the fear, I have thought of you Bloggy friends who have traveled this road before me (Jane and Lance Hattatt and the dog's mother (Kathy) and others) and it has, in the most practical and real sense, given me deep, deep hope and encouragement that I will be alright and that this road is passable and I'm not alone. It's, actually, made me smile and breathe! Thank you so much!!! xxo

and, so, the only thing that I marvel at is, how in the world did you blog - write, even - in those hard days? I find myself, most of the time, completely tongue-tied. (Consternation!) So, here is a deal...

I love to visit and leave long comments on your blogs but waiting for a moment when I feel witty or, even, articulate, is not working! I may just need to come and visit and put my stamp saying, "Katy was here!" or just leave a smile.... and, then, I can get on with my own posts - low on words - but, at least, I can share in this wonderful optimism - this chronicle of happy thoughts - this treasure of inspiration and creative output that is Blogland! :)

Deal?

=)





 xo



P.S. I have all sorts of spring 'babies' to share with you and THE MOST AMAZING mother's day gift, 'next time' - now that I've finally whacked up the courage to say all of these things. ;) Oh! And lilacs.... more gorgeous and lush lilacs!!


Oh, the sheer relief of having the communication muse visit me, this rainy morning!



18 comments:

  1. Dearest Katy, I am so very very sorry to hear your news. I know exactly how you feel..... A period of hope and fear. Living by the day. Waiting for that miracle to happen... that it will not be you. I feel honoured that despite all that is happening in your life, you took the time to respond to my blog, pins or Insta's.

    I realised for some time now something else was going on in your life, but because I locked off Facebook (temporarily) I missed out on the details. I never thought it would be something as horrible as this.

    I am relieved to see your beautiful photo's. To me they show that you still see the beautiful things in life. Hold on to them! They helped me through the past two years. They make you lighter and happier!

    Thinking of you, sending you much love and a big hug!

    Madelief xox

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  2. Oh, dear, dear Madelief! Thank you for your comment! I've certainly - definitely - thought of you and the times you've been through and I think - I think about how gracious and lovely and steady you've been through it all. I so admire you for that!!!!! =) and I haven't said much about it - not wanting to complain and frustrated with myself for being stressed when my life is so beautiful and wonderful. Finally, it occurred to me that I'm stressed because it's stressful. ;) That helped a lot! LOL! and, Yes! It is such a daily thing, isn't it?! And I do have so many beautiful images from the past few months and that is JUST how I feel about life - that it's really beautiful. But, now, I feel like I'm being trite and I do feel tongue-tied but this has done the typical job of making me see life with a fresh view! ;) So, I have this sense that it's good! =)

    Love to you and your family! =)

    xxo

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  3. Katy:

    Thank you so much for sharing your story with us. I am new to your blog, but I can tell that you are a wonderful person!! I know the waiting must be awful, but thankfully they haven't found any cancer and hopefully they never will! Stay awesome :-)

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  4. What really kind words! Thank you! =) By the way, I call myself an 'optimistically realistic idealist'. ;) I admire the philosophy behind your name! =)

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  5. Love the Lilac Katy.....................I think that lilac may be my one weakness............How about you?
    Love Helen xx

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  6. Brilliant, Helen! :D Indeed! My one weakness, too.... oh, how I long for lilacs! =D xo

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  7. Hangeth in there!!! Take deeeeeep breaths. Find humor in all things. It helps. (With cancer and gluten stuff - been there done that :-)

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    1. Breathing so deeply I'm cross-eyed!! =) Thank you!! =) xo

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  8. all will be well. praying for you. hugs and much love.

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    1. Oh, Kamana! :) I've been thinking about you - a visit would be just the ticket! :) <3

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  9. Well my dear girl - I will be sending you all my love and good thoughts that your June 19th biopsy goes well and that they find everything is fine. Very scary. One always seems to take their health for granted until something arises don't they? Yup, live each moment. Take advantage of every healthy day and celebrate.

    Ok...sending you the good vibes...can you feel them????

    And some big hugs too! ((((Katy))))

    xo Catherine

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    1. Why, yes, Cat! I do believe that I can feel them all - that anxiety has fled, today, and I've been wondering why.... tchuh! ;) =) xo

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  10. Dear Katy - How challenging it must be to not only go through this process but to find the courage to share your thoughts and experiences with your readers - both of which you do with an amazing amount of courage and an open heart. I, of course, will be thinking and praying for you my dear friend. Your photos, or just a word or two, always brighten our days. With you in spirit this Thursday! xo

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    1. Thank you so much, Julie!! Smiles! =) xxo

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  11. I haven't been around much in the blogsphere lately but was so happy to see your comments over at my blog Katy! Happy to be back here but of course worried when I read your post. It sounds scary!

    Lovely photos of the lilacs. They are definitely one of my favourite flowers! They are gone here and I miss them...but on the other hand that means roses are in bloom.

    You will be in my thoughts on Thursday! Sending lots of love your way... xo

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    1. Oh, Karin! It was so refreshing to visit again! It's a funny thing, I am missing the lilacs, too. I keep wishing that I could have them back! The roses are just budded and coming but not out, yet. I'm suspecting they'll surprise us by bursting forth suddenly. =)

      and everyone and their thoughts and prayers.... it makes one feel well covered when one finds themselves going into the situation. I'm already feeling it - so encouraged and grateful!! =)

      xxo

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  12. Dear Katy ~ I love your 'In the Sunny Spot' blogspot ~ it has been so nice to get to know you through your beautiful photos and words. You are loved and you are lovely. You are in my prayers. I will pray that God will surround you with his angels.
    Tisha's friend, Kathy

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  13. Simply - thank you so much, Kathy!! x

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