Whatever doesn't kill you?

If you've ever read my 'bio' in the sidebar you will see that I make the extraordinary claim that I am both shy AND outgoing. And so it is with blogging! I am bold to share and respond to the lovely comments made and, yet, then, after a few hours have passed, I feel overwhelmed and go and hide - feeling shy and tongue-tied and, yet, still so very sincerely grateful for the comments made.

and so it is that I have no idea how to express to you how I felt by your overwhelming response and extremely kind words to my post about my discovery of being gluten sensitive. It was more than just the public comments - the private notes - it was so touching. I, actually, walked around with this warm sensation in my heart for a good two days! It was like having my heart held - or hugged - something like that. ;) Point being....

I was touched!! Thank you so very much!!!!

Well. Then. I thought that was that but the story continues... I switched Doctors. Mine just couldn't seem to expend any energy beyond occasionally prescribing a pill. And when I went to my new and wonderful doctor, she discovered that there was an odd complaint that was two years old that should be presented to a specialist immediately! ...and so has begun the long journey of tests - each result bringing back the good news that they haven't found any cancer - yet - the frustrating news that I'm at 'higher risk' and will need another test. I am, now, lined up with ten other mysterious and unknown women somewhere in the world who are in the same situation as mine and two of us will be 'chosen' to have cancer. How long and drawn out and, sometimes, torturous could this possibly be, I wonder? My brain has said that, most likely, everything will be okay - my body, after the last result - sort of shut down because of the stress. And so it is that I am just fine and completely not. (which makes me laugh..... and sigh!)

Ooooooh.... surgery for the final biopsy is next Thursday. (June 19th)

And for all of the people who wrote to me and told me how encouraged they were by my sharing about the gluten situation, I have got to say that, when I have been, endlessly, in and out of that MRI machine having all sorts of long needles poked into me and when I have taken a fleeting glimpse down the 'what if' road and felt the sadness and the fear, I have thought of you Bloggy friends who have traveled this road before me (Jane and Lance Hattatt and the dog's mother (Kathy) and others) and it has, in the most practical and real sense, given me deep, deep hope and encouragement that I will be alright and that this road is passable and I'm not alone. It's, actually, made me smile and breathe! Thank you so much!!! xxo

and, so, the only thing that I marvel at is, how in the world did you blog - write, even - in those hard days? I find myself, most of the time, completely tongue-tied. (Consternation!) So, here is a deal...

I love to visit and leave long comments on your blogs but waiting for a moment when I feel witty or, even, articulate, is not working! I may just need to come and visit and put my stamp saying, "Katy was here!" or just leave a smile.... and, then, I can get on with my own posts - low on words - but, at least, I can share in this wonderful optimism - this chronicle of happy thoughts - this treasure of inspiration and creative output that is Blogland! :)

Deal?

=)

 xo

P.S. I have all sorts of spring 'babies' to share with you and THE MOST AMAZING mother's day gift, 'next time' - now that I've finally whacked up the courage to say all of these things. ;) Oh! And lilacs.... more gorgeous and lush lilacs!!

Oh, the sheer relief of having the communication muse visit me, this rainy morning!