You know, even when there are clouds, the sun is still shining. Dear friends, this is not a platitude! If the sun were not shining up above the clouds, we would be a frozen wasteland. Even when we live in the frozen tundra - we are not in the wastelands of Pluto! The sun shines and it sustains us. (Although, in the winters, it is a good idea to find protection and shelter, eh?)
There is something that you don't know about me - it is not a secret - it just hasn't come up before.
You have been witnessing me blog in one of the most stressful times of my life. I have been most genuinely sharing my joys, little triumphs and peace with you but this particular situation has always been there.
A little over two years ago, on the very day that we moved into our new home, we had an appointment up at Dartmouth Hitchcock Medical Center that we had waited for for over a month. I almost didn't go - there was so much to do. Little did I know how God was orchestrating my life. At the appointment, I finally found some answers to so much confusion and anxiety. My youngest son was diagnosed with high functioning autism (HFA). I cried and cried! They were concerned that I was crying but it wasn't from grief! It was just from severe relief! I was so relieved to have an explanation - to find someone who understood deeply and perfectly!
Since then, I have been gaining in knowledge and experience. We've realized some other things about our family, too, but I won't go into that. Most of this journey has been brilliantly good, a little more than fascinating and a privilege but, truthfully, some of it has been utterly frustrating. However, just understanding what's going on has diffused most of the craziness. We even quip that, "now we have a diagnosis for why life is so unusually wonderful for us!" It certainly explains why my youngest boy is such a sweet angel and has such a large soul.
I wouldn't change this journey for anything!
The biggest pain and challenge we have is with school. Although, school holds out so much to be gained for us, it's still a tough situation.
School started, yesterday!
I have been digging my emotional heels in but I just couldn't hold time back. It truly has been a sad couple of weeks for me. I need to stop fretting and move along with joy!
I need a different approach to this year!!!
It's a curious thing but, even though God has been absolutely taking care of me and sustaining me, I have been attempting to carry far too much of this burden - like, all of it. What can I do, really? I can only do my part. Even, then, the world does not rest on my shoulders.
Well, in the last two weeks, an attitude adjustment has been taking place. It must take place! I am changing how I, personally, am going to tackle all of this!
"So do not fear, for I am with you;~ Isaiah 41:10
Do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
This is really it in a nutshell!
He (God) has spoken this to me. I know Him and trust Him. He has never ever failed!
"Trust in the LORD with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding;In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."
~ Proverbs 3: 5 & 6
Okay!
So!
I am going to let HIM be the brains AND the muscle, this year!!!
I am going to just look to Him and follow!
I already know that He is a faithful, compassionate and amazing guide. The things He has planned for my family and I were put together with extreme love and wisdom!
Well, now I am doing better than "okay" and that is not just a platitude!
I have found my protection and shelter - my warmth!
Actually, yesterday, I felt so much better, that I needed to go and do something very happy, like, make a special snack for when the boys got home!!!
Fun!
er, I had two "croissants" but was munching the other one while I took pictures of this one!
I got this idea from Cathleen at "My Sewing Serenity". (She got it from somewhere else but I couldn't find the link.)
Homemade chocolate croissants!!!
The idea is to take Pillsbury refrigerated crescent rolls dough and to put chocolate chips (I used Ghirardelli, which is the best that we can easily get, here, in the states) in the middle - roll up and bake.
It was really, really good!!!
Especially with the Smuggler's Tea, to be exact - it was that delicious!
Especially with the Smuggler's Tea, to be exact - it was that delicious!
I am doing much better, now!
Faith, trust, love and a few simple pleasures have seriously carried the day!
Love and best wishes to you and yours,
Katy Noelle
Sending you warmest wishes and hugs today Katy! The not knowing ~ the anticipation of what 'might' happen ~ the thinking ~ it's what holds us back. Sounds like are taking things head-on and letting what will 'be' be.
ReplyDeleteYour chocolate filled croissants look so yummy! If I was there drinking tea with you I think I would ask for a second one as well! :)
Glad you are doing better friend.
Warm thoughts.
xo Catherine
Big hugs to you, dear Katy! Faith, trust and love... that will always see you through everything.
ReplyDeleteDearest Katy Noelle,
ReplyDeleteWell, one hears more and more of this condition. Guess it also has become a new 'trend' of labeling this new condition. Look at it from the other side too; it creates lots of jobs and a new topic to write about, to do research about. Decades ago it was never heard of! That does not mean it didn't exist then, but we coped with it better. Now you almost feel singled out if a child becomes branded with 'the' condition. Don't be too serious about it. Love your children as a good Christian family and do the best you can. Things usually develop in a good way, with time. All these so called specialists are 'not' the parent and thus their hearts are less involved; more their wallets.
Good luck and be positive!
By the way, we are more pragmatic since we've worked all over the world and have seen real poverty too. Those parents never ever can pay for a doctor's consult... and yet, their children also grow up! So it also is a problem of the modern world and more related to prosperity. We have even a foster daughter who was deaf. Only since two years she can now hear with a very expensive Oticon (Danish) hearing aid for both ears. She did stay in a boarding school from age 5-12. Being above normal intelligent she went to regular high school; just getting by with reading lips! We paid for her college and university and she did graduate with one point above average from her class! She had four proud parents and all that with her handicap... Don't panic too quick!!!
Sunny greetings from Georgia/USA
MariettesBacktoBasics
Dearest Katy, My heart goes out to you all since this news of your son's condition is both a worry and a burden. I know that you have a strong faith and, I am certain that it will sustain you in both happy and sadder times, but, nevertheless, I am sure that you are anxious for him and for what the future will hold. You are fortunate to have the support of a loving husband and family but you must take care of yourself in order that you can meet the challenges which will inevitably come your way.
ReplyDeleteI have received your email regarding the garden and have so much to say to you that I shall fortify myself with a gin and tonic before replying!! Whatever,the garden is another example where I can say from experience there is no rush and slow progress is often in the long run the best. Certainly, working in the garden can be extremely therapeutic in so many ways.
The chocolate croissants look delicious. What a marvellous treat at the end of a school day. Or any time, really!!
Oh Katy! As a long time teacher and former principal, I certainly understand how difficult it can be for our "special" children in learning environments that do not truly meet/address their needs and gifts...so glad to hear that the Lord is holding you close...
ReplyDelete"Cassandra" ♥♥♥
P.S. Thank you for the yummy and so very easy recipe - and your photographs are the BEST!
The road of life certainly has its share of pot-holes, but how comforting to turn the wheel over to the Lord. He's not only been in all of our yesterdays, He's already in all of our tomorrows, as well. Together, there's no way to lose.
ReplyDeleteThat croissant looks serious.
Dearest Katy Noelle,
ReplyDeleteForgot to point out one person to you: Bill Gates is Autistic and look what he accomplished!
It is all about love and if we envelop our loved ones with that feeling of being special; everything will work out - together with the faith!
Lots of love from Georgia,
MariettesBacktoBasics
My heart goes out to you Katie. It seems we are hearing more and more about this condition. My friend is struggling with her daughter right now, and I am trying to be her support and guide. Its interesting that you started your blog in the midst of this crisis. I did the same thing too. Two years ago, my oldest son became "ill" which I won't go into, but it was the hardest time of our lives. He taught me how to blog, which in ways was a healing diversion for me. A creative outlet. I can tell blogging has been the same for you. Keep your chin up. One day at a time.
ReplyDeleteFaith, trust and love.....beautiful post Kathy....i enjoy it...happy evening.............love Ria......
ReplyDeleteI'm on a diet and you show me croissants?!?!?!
ReplyDeleteYour loving Sister. :P
Thank you for a truly beautiful post. Full of reminders I needed in my life.
ReplyDeleteThank you for a lovely open post. I understand how you feel about getting a diagnosis for a child who has a disability. It is such a relief isn't it? Some things start to make sense, some things don't.
ReplyDeleteOne of the most amazing things about having a child that is "different" (and I mean that in the nicest possible way) is that as parents we become very creative in finding ways of achieving results for not only our child but the whole family. It is very much a team effort. Never underestimate how much mental, physical and emotional energy you put into your child, it is hard work, if not enjoyable, yes? So be encouraged, some days you will feel like nothing is going right and other days there are beautiful moments of sunshine.
I'm so glad you are making time for creative outlets as sometimes we can lost in all the busyness, organising and general managing all the "interesting" situations with our kids.
I would like to mention an inspirational post written by an amazing down to earth lady at this blog http://raglanguld.blogspot.com/. The title of the post is "Incontinence". I'm sure you will enjoy her humour and wonderful story.
Have a gorgeous day.
Regards,
Anne
Teachers shouldn't have favorites but I must admit that I most enjoy the kids who break the mold. When I think of HFA, I think quirky, interesting, focused and fun.
ReplyDeleteThat said, you have a diagnosis--now you need to be your son's best advocate. The school system will offer you the minimum and you need to ask for the moon and the stars in his IEP meetings. Be pushy, be involved, be informed.
Feel free to ask if you have any questions.
Dearest Katy
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing such a very personal and heartfelt post with us and with such eloquency. I truly empathise with your son's condition. I know you to have a strong faith and I'm sure this will guide you through the present time and indeed the future. Your grace and fortitude and positive spirit will see you through.
I wish you a weekend of simple pleasures in the warmth of your family and your faith.
love,
Jeanne
xx
PS I am away on my travels from tomorrow so won't be blogging for a week or two. See you when I get back:-)
Sweet sweet Katie, how I love your post, it comes exactly at the right time. It's so beautiful to be heard and to have your mother instinct confirmed. Your words on trust are beautiful.
ReplyDeleteI'm also concerned about my oldest son, in a different kind of way though, but I'm concerned and discussing it in school.
Sending you lots and lots of happy thoughts and warm wishes, sweet friend. You made a gorgeous treat for your lovelies!
Hope your weekend will be filled with lots of great moments! xxxoooxxx
hi katy,
ReplyDeletethank you for sharing a bit about yourself. i tend to be a bit of a clam about private things but whenever i have shared a personal snippet online, there is always such a warm outpouring of support.
your treat looks delish. i am all about peppering one's day with things like this (subtext: i will never be a bikini mom - LOL).
enjoy the weekend ~
xo
elyse
Dear Katy,
ReplyDeleteGosh, words seem totally inadequate at the moment. Everything I try to write seems so cliche. So just know that I am thinking of you, and sending (((HUGS))) your way.
xoxo,
Mary
Oh, and I am totally making those croissants as soon as the heat wave breaks here... :)
Dear Kathy,
ReplyDeleteAlthough a very serious post, it made me smile. You are such a positive minded, sunny person. I know you will be ok and so will the boys. I am not religious myself, but I am glad God helps and leads you on your path.
Perhaps you should try to get in contact with mothers who have children like your son as well, just to share and help each other. It might help.
I wish you lived nearby so that I could come over, give you a hug....and eat one of those great looking croissants :-)!!!!
Take care!
Lieve groet & happy weekend, Madelief
After reading your heartfelt post, I hope you can feel the hugs I'm sending your way. Your faith and confidence are so evident in all you do and your son will most definitely benefit from your joyful spirit. Please know that on the best of days, and those a bit more cloudy, we are thinking of you!
ReplyDeleteI know exactly what you mean - it's such a relief to have a diagnose that helps for understanding behavior and other things. So much easier when there is a reason that you know even if it's a hard struggle. There is no easy way, particulary not with school as I guess gives is about the same problems as in Sweden but keep on , never give up!
ReplyDeleteYour mug is lovely btw and the croissant looks very tasty, exactly what we need from time to time :-)
Christina, Sweden
My nephew is on the spectrum - and every day, we know what a blessing he is to our family. He is sweet, and happy, and quite a handful! Somedays, I can't keep up with him, he is just totally on the go. Stay strong.
ReplyDeleteAnd, thank you for the lovely comments you've left on my blog. I'm sorry I haven't stopped by sooner - so busy at work, and I was really stopped in my tracks last week with that rotten head cold/laryingitis. Hope this week finds you in beautiful spirits!
Sweet Katy, you are truly a wonderful mother and woman. Your faith is so deep and beautiful. God is by your side guiding your way. I love how you ended your post with your treats for your boys. They are so lucky to have you as their mother. Terri
ReplyDelete